
The game is broken into missions, and goals range from making a certain amount of cash, to cleaning up the reams of litter that are turning your resort into an ill-kept dustbin. Time to cover the beaches with sun-loungers and barbeques, wreck the cliffy vistas with hi-rise hotel blocks and bulldoze the vegetation to make way for discos, sweaty bars and overpriced restaurants. But you've got a ferryload of 20-something holiday hedonists inbound, intent on having the time of their lives. Palm trees and Mediterranean flora cover the hills. There are magnificent cliffs and rocky out-crops. The entire spectrum of 'Brits on the Piss’ loutishness unfolding on your monitor. Men and men copping off for alcohol-fuelled romps in the sand dunes. Men and women copping off for alcohol-fuelled romps in the sand dunes. Men staggering out of night-clubs to brazenly urinate like horses up against the nearest burger stall. Try putting the word 'very’ in front of badly.ĭrunken bints in ill-fitting bikinis bitchbrawling outside tacky theme pubs. Only we'd like to suggest a change to that statement.

"This is a game about behaving badly on holiday." The words of Ian Livingstone, living legend and the brains behind Beach Life, and a succinct summation of the antics you can expect in Eidos’s new sun. After all, you don’t need to go on a Club 18-30 holiday to enjoy giving a bunch of tossers food poisoning. When Beach Life comes out in the summer we’re not expecting a classic, but if all goes well it could prove to be a pleasant surprise. He sounds like your grandad giving you a pound to go to the cinema. We especially like the bit about "young people in particular". Cheap booze, loud music, romance, polluted water, mosquitoes, hot sun, beach volleyball and everything else will combine to create people-watching at its best". It seemed to me to be the perfect experience to simulate in a game. Livingstone, not one to miss out on a good business opportunity, makes this clear when he says, "young people in particular have a lot of fun on holiday. Of course, the fact that The Sims is still riding high in the charts two years on is definitely part of the motivation behind Beach Life.


There won’t be any of the long periods of boredom featured in The Sims here. You can also expect copious amounts of vomiting and sunburn, along with shark attacks, jellyfish and storms - these are just a few of the problems you’ll face. Life'S A BeachĮverything you can imagine in a beach resort will be here: the cockroach-infested hotels, the overpriced bars, wet T-shirt contests, watersports and the like. But with the likes of Risk II and Monopoly 'tycoon behind them, Deep Red could really make it work. In the hands of some lesser developer it could be a recipe for cringeworthy dullness. The idea is to manage different resorts, all of which are populated by moronic, sex-starved hooligans and dippy, sex-starved slappers.

Which is precisely what Milton Keynesbased developer Deep Red has gone and done, although the original concept is attributed to the head of Eidos, the legendary Ian Livingstone. There’s only one way to turn it into something fun, and that’s to make a game out of it. It closely resembles my personal idea of hell (except for the second item on the list). The sun, the sex, the German techno music, the foam parties, the nighttime Es and the morning Js, the wide-open bloodshot eyes, the factor 75 suntan lotion.
